Friday, November 11, 2005

The Poles do it!

I think we're due for another dose of 'The Sati Chronicles':

The Poles do it; the Turks do it 14/12/02

In our continuing struggle to get the required drugs into the UK, I have come with a unique and simple solution - why doesn’t India join the European Union? Well - if the Turks can do it, why not India?
After all, India meets all the EU requirements:

1. Rule of Law. There can be no doubt about this one. Indian constables carry stout sticks (lathis), and any malefactor gets a swift on-the-spot whack on the shoulders or the bum (whichever is handier) so that no one is in any doubt that LAW RULES OK.


2. Human Rights. Top of the list with Indian Police - as demonstrated recently by this Brit that a wimpy Tony Blair got released from an Indian jail resort. I mean - what was this deaf dodderer with only one leg doing with 20 Kg of Cannabis? Why couldn’t he buy 5 grams a go like the rest of us? He could easily have hidden that in his false leg; but 20 Kg! (probably one weeks supply for him) - no wonder he went deaf! All that loud music that must have been playing in his head. As for the leg - he was probably doing a one legged dance until it turned gangrenous and fell off! As to the far-fetched allegation that the Indian Police planted the said drugs - preposterous!

i) 20 Kg of bhang would never have survived in Police custody. They would have smoked it themselves or sold it, not planted it (free) on anyone.
ii) Well what if they did plant it? They were only safeguarding human rights of you and me - to protect society against these one-legged deaf do-gooders who are going around corrupting the morals of decent clean thinking people like you and me (well, you.)

There is a slight hitch of geography, but it is no longer a hindrance these days. India and Britain are connected innumerable subtle siras and dhamanis. This explains how the man you last saw as the village idiot in a remote corner of rural India, you next meet on Southall Broadway wearing a three piece suit, a bowler hat and holding the badge of Britishness - a brolly.

Don’t treat this as the depraved ravings of a mind that’s lost it. Well, on second thoughts, you can treat it as you wish - I will not hold it against you. Please think on this theme and we shall discuss this further at Tarik’s party tomorrow.

Signed
The Deep Thinker Who Only has Good of You lot At Heart

PS Another brilliant Idea!Why don’t we put Tarik in charge of this project? Being vaguely turkish he may know some ways to weasel our way into Europe through the back way.

LOL! Full of great ideas - that's my dad!!!
Please leave your comments.

1 comment:

jatlee said...

lololol nutter!! keep the stories rolling!!